QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "Close you eyes, clear your heart, cut the cord." THE KILLERS

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ambition

Still loving the cartoon mode on my phones camera. 817am
Lots of gooses. 848am
Today was a strange visit to the HP. It was warm and sunny when I got there, then clouded up really quick and got colder. That kinda took the wind out of my sail for a ride this morn and I just came back to the store to go to work instead.

But I did a lot of thinking there today. Its the place I do my best thinking. Good or bad.

I was thinking how lucky I am to get to start my day this way. It was not always like this. I have done my time as a 9 to 5'er. Wake up to an alarm, clean up a little and drive to a job you hate, or at least do not like. Everyday the alarm rings at the exact same time. Off you go.
I'm almost 52 years old and have spent a huge amount of time in my life doing that. And I'm so done with that. 
Today I never wake to an alarm, pretty much get up when I want to (within reason). I get to goof off a bit before I get to work. Spending time on the beach every morn, regardless of temp (not in rain) is just about the best in the world. No traffic. Quiet. Serene. Awesome. Happy.

Working at my bike store. Living the dream. I'm not getting rich, but I'm happy. Or am I?

For my entire life Ive always wanted more than I had. 20 years ago I owned a trucking company that grossed (not net) 6 million a year. My salary was 6 digits. I worked harder and harder, more hours, more trucks, more money that equaled more stuff for me. Race cars and motorhomes. Bring it all on!
Then I burned out and sold it all. Trucks, race cars and motorhome plus more.
Looking back, I should have stopped way before I got to that point. I would have been happy. But you what they say about hindsight...
So today, as I sat on the beach I thought how happy and lucky I was to be where I am today. Its not by luck, its by design. My design. Then the clouds came and it got a bit gloomy.
My thoughts changed.
Is this all there is? I mean, I'm right where I thought I wanted to be. Bike shop owner, bike rider, sleeper in'er. I'm not so sure sometimes.
Sometimes I think I want more. Still.
I was never the guy to be happy and settle. Ive never settled. Really, I am never happy with what I have and always look for more. I want what he's got. Its a terrible fault. And I suffer for it.

But then again some people would call this ambition. And maybe that is all it is. Maybe I just have a lot of ambition. Always looking to better myself. Always looking for that next project. Ambition is a good quality to have, right?
Either way, its in me. Its instinct.
Is there a chance I could burn out on bikes. Sell the store and move on?
Absolutely.
Do I know when that could happen. Nope.
But I will say this. I'm taking what I learned with my prior business and am going out of my way to not make the same mistakes. The fact that Ive been there before is helping me a ton today. When that ambition thing hits me I take a step back. Relax. Head for my Happy Place. And just slow down a little. Think clearer.

And that sucks all the ambition out of me.
And resets me. Reboot.

DLD




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