|815am Tanker in background|
My visits to my Happy Place are pretty much rated good or bad based on the mood Im in when I get there. When Im crabby or bummed out I never post it as I always try to keep personal issues out. I stop reading others blogs when all they do is complain.
I also stop reading when they are too happy.
You know the people Im talking about. Things that you or I have to work hard to get or do just fall into their lap with minimal effort. Being a self proclaimed emo I see these things more than others do. Its completely fruitless to let it bother you but some days it does bother me. I do concentrate on letting it go and move on. Most times, its my own thoughts that prompt this.
So today its my weight and health that is hitting me. Again, I almost never post about my weight anymore. Im just asking for a post from one of the mean guys that call me names. But Ive been big my whole life and most times feel good. My riding has been good. On a bike I carry my weight well.
Over the years there have been many people who cant believe I ride as much as I do and still maintain my size. You would be surprised to see how little I eat.
Anyway, like any drug addict, you have to hit rock bottom to make the turn back up the hill and I have hit that this week.
In the past, my riding has been good enough for me not to be concerned about a life change. Again, I was big but felt great. That has changed. I rode for almost two hours yesterday and felt terrible. Awful in fact. My weight is at the highest its been in 10 years right now.
Doctor appts have revealed my blood pressure is up. Not just up. Thru the roof.
99 over 188
Also, my blood sugar is way up. Not just up. Way up.
Thats not good good for a guy who owns a bike shop. On Oct 26th I go in to my Doc's office to see what is needed to correct this. Meds or otherwise.
Like a addict of anything thats hit the bottom, I have a decision to make. Either clean up my act or accept I'll most likely be off the bike.
When its stated like that its a no brainer but, for me, is easier said than done. In the past, I have felt so good that I put up with carting around the 100 more pounds than the guys I rode with. I was younger and besides hurting on the uphills, did keep up 80% of the time.
Today, Im not even in the same ballpark as the group.
Ive tried to lose weight, always putting in a weak effort. Again, I felt good so I never tried very hard. Today, as I type this. I not have no other choice. If I lose this battle, my overall health is gone. My bike riding health will be gone. My means to make a living will change and my family will suffer. Today, Im saying failure is no longer an option.
The next two weeks I will use as a fact finding time frame. I will spend the next two weeks to prepare. To game plan. Friday, October 26th, at 1045 am, I see the doc and I will walk out a different man. For better or worse.
So you may ask whats different about all the other times I put in such weak efforts to lose weight? This time Im really pissed off. At myself. Pissed off for real.Im so pissed off at me that the only reason I will succeed is to just spite myself.
My first thought is to not post much about this, nobody wants to hear of your problems. Then, I thought maybe posting my results might just motivate me more. I sure would not want to post about failing. But in the long run I think I will only comment if Im asked.
As far as the blog is concerned no news is good news. Or bad news. You will never know....
The type of diet I eat will be based on the results of the tests on Oct 26th.
And so it begins.