I almost never post about my weight issues anymore. Its always just sounded like I was either complaining or just feeling sorry for myself.
I guess its cuz I can carry it for the most part. Even with the weight I still ride good enough to race and group ride (for the most part). I always thought I was about the fastest fat guy on a bike. So... I just rolled with it so to speak. Then, in just the last few years, the weight started taking a toll on my body.
First off, I need a CPAP machine to sleep. Then, last year I find out my knee is shot and needs a complete replacement. It hurts everyday. Thats not a direct fault of my weight but Im sure it contributed.
Now, I have a hip thats going bad. Again, not just because Im overweight but the extra work my joints are doing is taking a toll.
Im not sure when my mind will be strong enough to lose the weight, but my time is running out on my active life. Left unchecked I could be off the bike in just several years. Not completely off the bike but not racing or riding hard with the group rides. Riding how I like to ride.
Right now I cant walk well. I could not walk more than 20 minutes until the pain in my joints screams at me. As far as cardio, I believe my heart is as strong as I horse. My heart rate is strong. At 52 years old I can still hit the upper 180's. An hour long race I can average 170. So I can still pedal pretty hard. Its just all my joints form my waist down is going to hell fast. Its more of a mechanical issue.
And losing weight wont fix that but would make things easier to tolerate. My problem is that I just cant lose weight by just eating less. I could eat less, but then I feel like crap all the time. Back in 2008 I went thru a tough patch in my life and lost 40 pounds by starving myself. I was faster on the bike and felt like shit 90% of the time. Im pretty sure I did more damaged my body and did more harm than good.
Im going to need that knee replacement someday. And Im putting it off as long as I can. Maybe wait until they can add a hip to that too. Do it in one swing.
Or maybe not do it at all.
Whatever. As long as I can still ride like I want to ride.
So I have some decisions to make. I know what I need to do. I just have a hard time doing it long term. But someday its going to come to do it or stop living the life I have now have. At what point it does not come as a decision at all. At what point will it be a necessity?
I just need to do it for real and shut up about it.